TV Movie Quotes.com

Quotes from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

(Scott Evil: 'I was thinking I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet.') "An evil vet? ('No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo.') An evil petting zoo? ('You always do that!')" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism!" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Do you like your quasi-futuristic clothes, Mr. Powers? I designed them myself." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Finally, we come to my number two man. His name? Number Two." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"I like to see girls of that...caliber. By 'caliber,' of course, I refer to both the size of their gun barrels and the high quality of their characters...Two meanings... caliber...it's a homonym...Forget it." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

(U.N. Representative: 'So, Mr. Evil…') "It's Dr. Evil. I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called 'mister,' thank you very much." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Let me tell you a little story about a man named Shh! Shh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive shh! Now, I have a whole bag of shh!' with your name on it." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

(Scott Evil: 'I just think, like, he hates me. I really think he wants to kill me.' Therapist: 'He doesn't really want to kill you. Sometimes we just say that.') "No, actually, the boy is quite astute. I really am trying to kill him, but so far unsuccessfully. He's quite wily like his old man." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

(Scott Evil: 'Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!') "No, no, no. I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying. I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers. (Scott Evil: 'What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?') I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

(Scott Evil: 'I hate you! I hate you! I wish I was never artificially created in a lab!') "Scott, that hurts daddy when you say that. Honestly." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"The details of my life are quite inconsequential. My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a 15-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims, like he invented the question mark. Sometimes, he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring, we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds. Pretty standard, really." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. It's breathtaking, I suggest you try it." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"There's nothing as pathetic as an aging hipster." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

(about his cat) "When I get angry, Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset. And when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, people die!" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads! Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here!" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

"Ahh, you shot me, you a-hole. " - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"As the French say, that certain 'I don't know what.'" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

(deep voice) "Austin, I'm your father. (Austin: 'Really') No, I can't back that up." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"I turned the moon into something I like to call a 'Death Star.'" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"Mini Me, you complete me." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"Talk to the hand, 'cause the face don't wanna hear it anymore. (The President: 'What hand?') You aren't all that and a bag of potato chips. (The President: 'What are you talking about?') Don't go there, girlfriend. (The President: 'Whose girlfriend?') Don't mess with me. I'm one crazy mo fo. I once popped a cop cause he wasn't giving my props in Oak town. I've heard that somewhere." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"The moon unit will be divided into two divisions. Moon Unit Alpha and Moon Unit Zappa." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

(Number Two: 'Dr. Evil, wouldn't it be easier to use your knowledge of the future to play the stock market? We could literally make trillions!') "Why make trillions when we could make... billions?" - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

"You're not quite evil enough. You're semi-evil. You're quasi-evil. You're the margarine of evil. You're the Diet Coke of evil, just one calorie, not evil enough." - Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

 

 

DVD Wish List

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
"This 6th installment of J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series does not disappoint. Harry and the gang are back at Hogwarts for yet another year. Harry is getting taller, Ron Weasley is becoming broad in the shoulders and Hermione Granger is showing curves in all the right places..." review of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Public Enemies
"This is a very enjoyable movie if you can get past the violence. The acting is superb with the minor exception of Christian Bale's annoying accent. Johnny Depp does it again! Just when I think he can not get any better he goes ahead and tops himself..." review of Public Enemies

Julie & Julia
"How can you top a story combining the best actress of our time with the culinary talents of one of the best cooks of the ages? What a treat to watch Streep go through her paces as she literally becomes Julia Child..." review of Julie & Julia

Angels & Demons
"If you enjoyed The Da Vinci Code you will undoubtedly enjoy this one. The film is visually pleasing with all of the shots of Rome and all that this city has to offer. It is also entertaining to see the inner workings of the Church..." review of Angels & Demons

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
"It offers action galore and a plethora of new weapons and gadgets and one accessory I would love to have, an accelerator suit! Wow! All in all, I would say that this is a 'must see' for sci-fi fans and fans of the action genre. I loved it and will probably see it again before it leaves the theaters..." review of G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3
"The movie is fast paced and very tense. The frenetic sound track and in your face filming all add to the excitement and tension generated by this movie. I enjoyed it just as I have enjoyed all of the movies of Denzel Washington and John Travolta..." review of The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

Star Trek
"All is well in Fatwayne's universe - Star Trek is back! And boy, it's back in a big way! I saw it today in the IMAX format and was totally blown away. I am certain that the success of this movie will spur sequels. If the films to come are anywhere near as enjoyable as this on was, we will be watching Star Trek for many years to come..." review of Star Trek

-->

-->

More Quotes

Latest Movie Quotes

Funny TV Quotes

TV Character Quotes

Movie Character Quotes